English Post your best jokes

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25.04.11 01:10:09 am
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WhiteFire
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Im bored and need a laugh post your best jokes here.

A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, 'What is this Father?'
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is.'
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button.
The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially.
They continued to watch until it reached the last number… and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.
Finally, the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman,
said quietly to his son.....

'Go get your Mother'
edited 1×, last 25.04.11 08:13:17 pm
Wise Man has written:
Hi
25.04.11 01:12:35 am
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R a G e
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WhiteFire ... my best one , by far.
R a G e. | doom15
25.04.11 01:13:05 am
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3RROR
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Hello mum!
Get the f*** out.

Mum! In the school everyone calls me liar!
You never go to school kid.
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25.04.11 02:24:03 am
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Mechanolith
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[Sound]: "Baby, baby baby, ooooooooooohhh"
Mother: "Son, are you listening to Justin Bieber?"
Son: "No, im just watching porn..."
Mother: "*uff* Okay."
25.04.11 02:35:05 am
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Aura
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One a pon a time, there was a "Jokes anyone?" thread, and chuck noris jokes filled it, the end.
"Yo momma" joke
Yo momma so stupid, she heard it was chilly out side, so she brought a boal.
25.04.11 02:42:58 am
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Mechanolith
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JohnTheWolf, why i can't understand your comments?
25.04.11 02:55:11 am
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Aura
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Because I screw up a lot when I type, so my little screw ups must throw you off? I don't know, maybe my posts are jokes
25.04.11 03:02:52 am
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3RROR
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If you guys watched. Justin Bieber dies in CSI. You'll get it.

Me: *cries*
Mom: What's wrong son?
Me: Justin Bieber gets killed! *cries*
Mom: But son, it's CSI. It's not real!
Me: That's why i'm crying!!!
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25.04.11 05:16:43 am
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darklite
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A guy comes into a bar and asks the barman for twelve-year-old scotch. The barman thinks "This guy is pretty pretentious" and proceeds to pour him a drink of six-year-old scotch.

He gives it to the customer who takes a drink, exclaiming, "This isn't twelve-year-old scotch, this is six-year-old scotch"

The barman thinks, hey this guy knows what he's talking about, and the two of them get into a conversation about where the customer is from etc..

At one point an old guy, who was sitting at the other end of the bar comes over with a glass and hands it to the customer. The latter takes a drink, and spits it out.

"This is piss!" he yells.

The old guy nods and says, "Yeah, but how old am I?
25.04.11 05:34:45 am
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pupp3tStudios
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This is a strange "Yo momma" joke:
Yo mamma so poor, burglars break in just to give her money.
25.04.11 05:54:25 am
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darklite
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yo mamma is so poor she has ticktacks on layway.
25.04.11 06:32:02 am
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itsoxymoron
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IMG:http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/23699_377821771764_72947896764_4230853_7991105_n.jpg

Don't Move the Table!
25.04.11 10:24:46 am
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Yates
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user 3RROR has written:
If you guys watched. Justin Bieber dies in CSI. You'll get it.

Me: *cries*
Mom: What's wrong son?
Me: Justin Bieber gets killed! *cries*
Mom: But son, it's CSI. It's not real!
Me: That's why i'm crying!!!

Damn, why god!? WHY!?
25.04.11 12:21:37 pm
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markuswalker
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Sry for bad english!

Write on a sheet of paper:

Spoiler >
Ich bin bekannt unter: Neon[L]ight[AuT], Chacky[AuT], me.at, AEIOU
25.04.11 01:07:32 pm
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Surplus
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@Markus

I haz a city?
25.04.11 01:10:11 pm
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oxytamine
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Q: What do you get when you take ecstasy and birth control pills?
A: A trip without the kids.
25.04.11 01:35:19 pm
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Seekay
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What is "126 + 622 : 512 x 4 - 25=?"

Average Carnage Contest enjoyer
25.04.11 01:37:54 pm
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oxytamine
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Q: What's the best thing about being a meth addict?
A: Only one sleeps till christmas.

The best joke I have ever heard, to be honest.
edited 1×, last 25.04.11 08:14:22 pm
25.04.11 03:37:04 pm
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sensei1321
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Your mama is so Fat,
She want to jump for joy,
She's stuck!!!
(not your mother)
25.04.11 03:53:38 pm
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Seekay
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ITS SONY PLAYSATION!
NOT PONY SLAYSTATION!
Average Carnage Contest enjoyer
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