English Social phobia tips?

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05.03.15 04:22:55 pm
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Bowlinghead
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user Dynamite07 has written:
@user Zeroarcanus: I love to be alone because I feel much more conformable unless I just arrived from a party or tha, that make me think how people treated me for not being able to have as much fun as them meeting people and picking girls. it is really depressing.


So actually if you are in a group of people and you see someone sitting alone, would you go and speak with him? Probably not.
Why should others speak with you? If you want to speak with someone you need start.

Don´t think other people are stronger than you. You are just a human like everyony else. I don´t know the name but the human and one monkey have a 98% equal DNA. We are closely the same (>2% difference)!
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05.03.15 04:53:58 pm
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erik9631
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@user Bowlinghead:

I agree with you but... what do monkeys have to do with this ?
05.03.15 05:05:38 pm
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DannyDeth
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I had social anxiety when I was an early teen, it went away as I got older and found groups of friends I could relate with. I'm pretty sure it came from an over-intellectualisation of social situations. People are way more forgiving of what you may see as an extremely awkward situation. To this day, though, I prefer to be on my own or in small groups of close friends: so don't worry too much.
05.03.15 05:14:59 pm
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Bowlinghead
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@user erik9631:
user Dynamite07 has written:
how people treated me for not being able to have as much fun as them meeting people

He things that other people have more rights or are better people. I wanted to show him that we all are closely equal.
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05.03.15 06:09:00 pm
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CaneCorso
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Mkay , best way is to suicide !!
(Pls mobs and adnins , no ban me for saying "suicide" i recently got a nice tb from adnin)
05.03.15 06:24:16 pm
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erik9631
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user DannyDeth has written:
I had social anxiety when I was an early teen, it went away as I got older and found groups of friends I could relate with. I'm pretty sure it came from an over-intellectualisation of social situations. People are way more forgiving of what you may see as an extremely awkward situation. To this day, though, I prefer to be on my own or in small groups of close friends: so don't worry too much.


We seem to have a lot in common then.




To OP. It might make you feel better if you realize that people forget what you said, but will never forget how you made them feel. It is a nice quote.


Simply said. I bet you had those moment when something embarrassing was stuck in your head and you couldn't stop thinking about it and it made you feel awkward when you were around the group of people it happened with. But the truth is they do not remember it the other day. Hell, you are lucky if they remember it an hour after.
05.03.15 06:57:01 pm
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Dynamite07
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@user CaneCorso: actually i would love that but I'm a good I mean I respect my mother, she would probably suicide after me.

@user erik9631: what make have this kind of thoughts is that I normally don't have a subject to socialize and when I do I speak shit that embarrass me.

I need more confidence and more experience talking..

I really want to pass the worst moment of my life.
05.03.15 08:04:26 pm
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oxytamine
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Elaborate social anxiety. Define it. Is it you, or others? Or maybe you think it's others when it's actually all about you? Is it inevitable? Our fear makes us play safe, blocks out emotions. It's a losing game.
05.03.15 08:16:53 pm
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Evaldas
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@user Dynamite07 How old are you?
Destroying children's dream's, since 2012..
06.03.15 01:02:03 am
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Dynamite07
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@user Evaldas: 17
06.03.15 02:56:04 am
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Sparty
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hehe..Well let me tell you about my story how i got people hanging with me or they wanted to hang with me.
One, Always have a older brother, sister thats an Athletic, You never seen a indian play basketball only hes 5'9 for me im lucky. And a annoying laugh sister. And be yourself AND STOP HIDING IN A CAAVE.
user DC has written:
@user omg: Actually a pretty good idea...
06.03.15 11:06:42 am
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Pagyra
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Any fear disappears when you start doing something you are afraid to do, instead of having to think about it.
06.03.15 04:04:13 pm
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kkkkkkk
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Some guys advised you not to care of other's judgement or to try to be as normal as you can... i believe that all this stuff is important but saying it like that is like asking someone to be taller !
i actually have the same problem and i'm just living with it until i get the courage to overcome my fears, however sitting behind my screen and typing these words won't change anything "i cri evrytiem"

Here are some books that could help you, it depends on your determination to change:
• Sean Cooper: The Shyness and Social Anxiety System
• Leil Lowndes: How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships
• Glenn R. Schiraldi PhD: 10 Simple Solutions for Building Self-Esteem

I've read the whole chapters of the 2 first books, the third one needs more patience and practice of cognitive therapy. The SSA system is a perfect one i've learned useful stuff from it perhaps it will help you more than it did with me ! good luck
06.03.15 05:21:41 pm
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Dynamite07
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@user Pagyra: always hard to start, would need some alcohol

@user kkkkkkk: true, like to be alone at home but need to be with someone in public otherwise its hard to try being normal...
You should know: “I won’t have anything to say. I'll seem boring.” everything in 1 phrase
Thanks for the books.
06.03.15 06:34:25 pm
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Bowlinghead
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If you would say sth like "The weather is beautiful, right?", "Do you hear music?" it would be even better.
Start with small and easy steps
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06.03.15 06:36:53 pm
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Nekomata
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- How To Overcome Social Anxiety -

- Step 1 -
a. Brute force hypnotical commands to your brain.
b. Don't screw up.
06.03.15 08:36:27 pm
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Dynamite07
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@user Bowlinghead: I would love those simple questions to comes to my head, but nothing come to my head, i'm think 4minutes and i can't even take a simple question, i could be dumb but texting its fine... I think im too nervous trying to think about something that i can't actually think about something.
06.03.15 11:57:29 pm
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Bowlinghead
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Then just take a piece of paper and write down 5 simple small talk sentences. Just learn them.
If you are in a situation where you get nervous then just say them.
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07.03.15 01:48:32 am
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TimeQuesT
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user Pagyra has written:
Any fear disappears when you start doing something you are afraid to do, instead of having to think about it.

user Dynamite07 has written:
@user Pagyra: always hard to start, would need some alcohol


Overcome your fears, it does not matter how.
Muh
08.03.15 01:01:41 am
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Dynamite07
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This night I'm going ou with a friend and 2 girls..
let's see how this turns
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